What is the hardest thing you have ever experienced?

. What is the hardest thing you have ever experienced?
Picking the hardest thing I have ever experienced is hard.  Three particular events stand out-1. My dad's death 2. Anna being born and spending 28 days in the NICU 3. Moving to a place when I never feel like I really fit in. 

Anna in the NICU was hard but we were able to make it through.  She did well the entire time and everything turned out okay.  While we were going through it it didn't seem to bad but after having two more kids who were totally healthy, I can't even imagine doing it again.  

My dad died in a backpacking accident when I was eighteen. Read about that here.  There's not a day that goes by that he doesn't cross my mind and memory.  It was a horrible experience that was made slightly easier by the amazing love and support of a few wonderful family friends.  

The third hardest thing is something I still deal with everyday. I have lived here for 10 years but I often still feel like I don't belong.  I miss the busyness and traffic of a bigger city. I long for the option of more than one grocery store. (and a Target) The ambiguity you can have in a crowd-going to the grocery story without seeing someone I know.  
It's taken a long time, but we have found a church we love and I have some friends that I wouldn't trade for anything, but it's been a long road and there are still days when I feel like an outsider.